|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Slowly starting to see the dreams becoming real, and it's kinda scaring me a little bit. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to choose between where you actually wanted to be and where you felt too guilty to leave (or not be in the first place)? =/ | | |
| Since you requested that I should update! And update I shall! 
Hmmm, I haven't really been doing much other than going to interviews and playing with Cider. By the way, Cider tripled in size!!! Sigh, my little baby is growing up so fast... He's so naughty though. I think he might be going through his terrible twos. Oh, and when he licks his lips, his mustache and beard kinda tucks into his mouth, which makes him look like he's smiling all the time.
Anyways, some of my interviews were good, and some were not so good. I think I might need some advice from some of my wise friends reading this xanga. =]
Lets say that there's this place where you really feel you want to work at, and they want you too! The only problem is that it's a summer internship... BUT they tell you that if it goes well then there's a chance that they will hire you fulltime. The only problem is that there's no 100% guarantee that you'll get the job. There's also another place that's willing to hire you fulltime right now, and it's an okay place to work at.. but it's not your first choice. Would you choose the "safe" job that's willing to hire you fulltime NOW... or do you risk taking the internship, hoping that they will hire you in the end?
The solution? Become a service dog trainer. Jk...maybe once I pay off all of my student loans and car payments. =P
Of course, my parents have a different solution to me not being able to find a job. To marry me off. Oh, how I wish I was joking.. I wish THEY were joking. They weren't too thrilled when I replied by saying that I was just gonna hang out and goof around with my brothers. I guess it's understandable that my parents would be disappointed and worried. Honestly, I'm a little disappointed in me. I thought I would have a job to provide financial support for my family by now... but I'm here at home with a $475 puppy that poops a lot... and I mean A LOT. Pooping machine. Ahh, but he's a very cute pooping machine. Poop is a funny word. Poop.
Sorry if this entry doesn't make much sense... I'm a little tired, and I'm just typing whatever has been on my mind lately.
Poop.
| | |
| I know... it's been a while. I blame it on my laziness and I also didn't really feel any urge to share my feelings or experiences publicly for a while. I'm not even sure why I'm posting right now. Perhaps I want to get in touch with people I haven't talked to for a while.
I've come to the realization that I am no longer a child. I've been having to let go and embrace at the same time. I have to let go of all of my childish behavior, feelings, and reasoning. There are definitely some things that need to be done, and I have to put my complete trust in God.
Anyways, that probably didn't make much sense to whoever's reading this. Did I mention that I got contacts FINALLY? Of course, that wasn't the smartest decision I've made because I absolutely hate having to touch my eye. Every morning and every night it takes me almost an hour just to get them in or out. I got soooo frustrated, and I remember praying to God to just "make it work" or "make it happen already." I know it seems like something small, but I really feel like through this small thing God is trying to teach me a much bigger lesson. In the end, I was able to overcome my fear of things getting near my eye. I was able to finally put my contact lens in my eyes without blinking! The lesson is that the struggle is an important part of the journey. What would be learn from our experiences if we got everything we wanted when we wanted them. Often times we get disappointed when our prayers don't get answered immediately, but God's timing is always perfect. I'm mainly writing this towards myself though... I'm doing everything I can to find a job, home church, and a couple of other things that I can't mention right now... but it has been a very slow process for me.
I'm curious to see what happens later on. Will my relationships with old friends die out or become stronger? I have to accept the fact that people are going to move on. I'm excited and saddened at the same time. I tend to hold onto things for way too long, so just actively letting go is actually kinda refreshing.. and painful of course. How I wish my friends knew how often I think and pray about them. How I truly love them with all my heart. That includes YOU (the reader) of course! Well, you know who you are (I hope). Take care, my friend. =] | | |
| Lets just say that this has been a very interesting winter break. I find myself becoming just a little bit more... cynical? At the beginning of last semester I was more open-hearted, vulnerable, willing to give whatever I had, and I was very trusting of others. I trusted in the goodness of people. Genuinely.
Right now, I don't know if I can say I feel the same way as I did before. I've learned that people are dishonest. They'll try to take advantage of you in any way they can... people are only looking out for themselves and not for the good of others. They're selfish and just plain MEAN sometimes. The world is just out there to get you! I'm really trying. I really do feel like I'm making all of the wrong decisions. I know it doesn't really make sense to anyone reading this. It would be hard to explain the situation or why I'm feeling the way I am.
I often wonder if it's even worth it. Or is it just a lotta bad decisions on my part? Do you think there's something such as trusting someone TOO much?
Lessons learned:
-Guard your heart
-It's ok to say no
-Don't give what you don't have (whether it be love or money) | | |
| There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
(Proverbs 6:16-19)
I decided to look up the word "haughty" and this is what I got:
Haughty
adjective
SYNONYMS: disdainful, proud, arrogant, vain, conceited, snobbish, superior, self-important, pompous, supercilious, condescending, patronizing; scornful, contemptuous, disdainful; full of oneself, above oneself; informal stuck-up, snooty, hoity-toity, uppity, uppish, big-headed, high and mighty, la-di-da.
ANTONYM: humble.
For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
(Luke 14:11)
That's probably my favorite verse. Anyways, I wasn't planning to update with this, but I'll post something else later on. Hope everyone had a good Christmas and New Years!
Oh yeah, don't forget to visit my website! http://www.radicalsleeper.com | | |
|
